The Further End-Time Adventures Of Verb McCracken: Chapter 5b, The Sardines, Part 2, “Munchkins”

I don’t know if she got pushed or she jumped.  I’m pretty sure she was pushed.  Her name was Grace, a blue-eyed blonde.  Pretty.  Actually, beautiful in her twenties.  She was an aspiring actress.

Why do I think she was pushed?  She had everything to live for.  She had no reason to leap.  She was a member of the Sardis church.  She was the only one who was tall.  All of the rest of the members were small.  Of course.

I was called to preach in Sardis.  The pastor himself was a “person of interest” in Grace’s death.  The main suspects were a couple of shorties named Chuy and Pedo.*  Chuy will tell everyone that his name means “chosen.”  Pedo is from the word for child in Greek.  They were a couple of nasty individuals.  

They would disrupt the church all the time.  They were very self-righteous.  Grace was a joy.  She would try to calm down everyone in the church but all the rest of the members would fight all the time.  They all hated Grace.  

What I don’t understand was what Grace was doing up in that building.  She apparently was sight-seeing from the observation deck on top of the tallest building in the city.  Sardis was nicknamed the Metropolis.  There were even movies set in Sardis but it was only referred to as the Metropolis.  

I didn’t see any reason for Grace to go out on that deck.  A famous picture of her showed the imprint of her body on the top of the car she landed on.

Rumor has it that Chuy and Pedo were seen up in the building at about the same time.  They were so jealous of her that I wouldn’t be surprised that they could have set her up to shove her when no one was looking.  That is how much they hated her.

Like I’ve mentioned, I could see things.  I had a dream about that nasty couple.  They were in a tall building and I could see them shoving Grace out.  But it was just a dream.  It wouldn’t stand up in court.

Since I had had that vision, I felt like I had to solve what appears to be her murder.  The pastor couldn’t help too much.  He was under constant surveillance.  He didn’t like her anyway.  He seemed to thrive on the confusion in the church.  

I knew the church in Sardis.  It had not ever been a particularly peaceful place.  They all seemed to be at each other’s throats.  They all sounded like a bunch of munchkins.  All the time they were chanting things like “we are the small ones, we may sound like bees, don’t humor us or we’ll bite your knees!”  Ugh.  I hated visiting them.

They sang hymns with lyrics like “The time is short,” and “indeed, Thy strength is small.”  Their favorites were God of Great and God of Small, and The Still Small Voice.  Of course, their favorite hymn writer was James G. Small.  

They wanted everyone to be depressed and as bound up as they were.  Although they preached grace, they taught doctrine that was as small as their stature.  They were legalists creating their own rules and regulations.  They gave lip service to the Bible but judged everyone according to how much they had read it and not how much they had practiced it.  They always talked about rationality and logic but could never cite Scripture for what they believed.  They were dark, dreary and depressed.  

I don’t know why Grace went to that church.  She was the opposite of everyone else in the church.  She was free-wheeling.  She loved the Lord and didn’t care who knew it.  She memorized a lot of Scripture and studied sermons and theology.  But she never judged anyone else.  She always was around to help anyone with any problems emotionally or materially.  She even helped people move into new apartments or houses.  I hated helping people move.  I hate to admit it but it’s true.  I could help them in other ways but I think Grace had the “gift of helps.”**

I couldn’t understand Chuy’s and Pedo’s hatred.  Why did they hate Grace so much?  I think her existence exposed them for what they were, unchristian and unsaved.  If they could get rid of her, maybe no one would notice what louses they were.

Did I mention that everyone in the church in Sardis were left behind after the Great Evacuation?  They were.  Big surprise, huh?  Every single one of them were left.

There had to be a way to prove what I already knew.  Chuy and Pedo were the murderers.  

They were so small.

(To be continued . . . .)

* Chuy means “God is salvation” in Spanish.   Pedo is Greek and short for “infant” as in infant baptism.

**  see 1 Cor. 12:28 And God has appointed in the church, first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations,  various kinds of tongues. 

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