“The Talking Donkey (Funniest Story in the Bible)” – One Year Bible Reading – March 15

Old Testament: Numbers 22:21-23:30

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Numbers 22: 21 – 41  The Talking Donkey

You don’t think God has a sense of humor?  This has got to be one of the funniest stories of all time!  Did you notice in the heading I tried to avoid using the “a” word?  I didn’t want anyone to be offended but, of course, the sacred and beloved King James uses the “a” word.  I refuse to drop to those kind of depths.

Anyway, we’ve seen Balaam already.  He was a prophet for hire.  In the New Testament he’d be called a “hireling” or a “hired hand” (“He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them.  He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. John 10:12, 13).  Later the Israelites offed him (Josh. 13: 22).

As we last left our anti-hero, he had asked Yahweh a second time if he could negotiate with Balak, the pagan king.  Yahweh allowed him to go but that didn’t mean He wanted him to go.  In v. 22 it says Elohim was “angry.”  It says “the angel of the Lord” took His stand against Balaam as “an adversary.”  The Angel is a Christophany, Jesus Christ Himself.  The donkey Balaam was riding saw the Angel of the Lord and walked off the road into a field.  Balaam struck the donkey to get him back onto the road.  The Angel stood where there were walls on both sides of the road.  The donkey tried to squeeze by Him but crushed Balaam’s leg in the process.   That earned the donkey another beating.  The Angel moved further away where the road was even more narrow due to the walls.  So the donkey then laid down.  Balaam, the great seer  could not see the Angel and was enraged.  He beat the poor animal with a stick.

The Lord allowed the donkey to talk back.  “What the heck?  What have I done to you that you would beat me three times?”  Balaam didn’t seem surprised.  Perhaps he had run into talking animals before (cf. Gen. 3: 1).  He claimed the donkey had mocked him.  Ha!  He didn’t know that the donkey would make him famous or infamous throughout all time!  The donkey asked if he had ever done anything like that all the years that Balaam had been riding him.  Balaam answered, “ah . . .   no.”

Then Yahweh opened the eyes of Balaam and he saw the Angel of the Lord standing in front of him with His sword drawn.  The Angel asked why he had beaten his donkey.  He explained if the donkey hadn’t stopped Balaam, He would have offed him.  Balaam said, “Sorry.  If you want, I can turn around and go back.”  The Angel told him it was OK to proceed but to only tell Balak what he was told by Yahweh.

When Balak heard that Balaam was coming he went out to meet him in the city of Moab.  Balak was ticked it took Balaam so long to get back to him.  Balaam told him again that he could only say what Elohim wanted him to say.  And he does.  He speaks three oracles over Israel, all positive.


Numbers 23: 1 – 30  Another Donkey Speaks

Balaam had Balak offer a bull and a ram and then he could see what Yahweh would do.  Elohim met Balaam  and gave him words to say.  Balaam pronounced three blessings on Israel (Nu. 23:7–10, 18–24; 24:3–9).  Balak is irritated that Balaam isn’t cursing Israel instead.  In the first blessing, Balaam says Israel would be set apart from other nations (Nu. 23: 9), Israel’s people would be as numerous as the dust of the earth (Nu. 23: 10), and that he, Balaam, wishes he was an Israelite (Nu. 23: 10).

BTW, Numbers 23: 19 is a terrific memory verse.  I learned it in the Revised Standard Version which is similar to the contemporary English Standard Version.  “God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should repent. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfil it?”

Balak was so disappointed after the first blessing, he suggested they all go up to the top of Pisgah and try again.  After the second blessing, Balak suggested they try again on the top of Peor.  But Balaam blesses Israel again, even emphasizing that Satan cannot reverse the blessing (Nu. 23: 23).

New Testament: Luke 1: 26 -56

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Luke 1: 57 -66   “John’s First Birthday”

All of Elizabeth’s friends were happy that she was having a son especially since she had been barren.  As we know from reading the Old Testament, John was to be circumcised on the eighth day  (Lev. 12:3) anniversary of his birth.  They were going to call the boy Zechariah after his father but Elizabeth corrected them and said his name would be John.  No one believed her so they signaled to his father to see  if it was OK.  Remember the angel had turned on Zeke’s mute button.  So he had to write on a tablet that  Elizabeth had the right idea.  Everyone was amazed but not so much as Zeke started talking again!  He praised the Lord.  The phone lines started burning as everyone started relaying the news about all that had happened.  They wondered what in snicker doodle would happen next.

Luke 1: 67 – 80   Zeke Prophesies

Zeke was filled with the Holy Spirit.  He quoted the Old Testament sixteen times.  Can you find them?  He predicts the coming of the Messiah the one called to announce His coming.  That person is his very own son, John.  Luke 1: 73 mentions the “oath” or covenant to Abraham.  John’s birth and ministry prepare the way for the Messiah who will eventually be the fulfillment of all the promises to Abraham (cf. Ge. 22: 16-18).   All of Zachariah’s prophecy echoes Malachi 4, the last chapter of the Old Testament.  Especially note Luke 1: 78, 79 vs. Malachi 4: 2.  This section speaks of redemption or salvation in Luke 1: 68, 69, 71, 74, and 77.

John grew up and was spiritually strong.  He lived in the desert until he appeared publicly to all Israel some thirty years later.

One thought on ““The Talking Donkey (Funniest Story in the Bible)” – One Year Bible Reading – March 15

  1. The word ‘ass’ means donkey. A ‘jack ass’ is a male don key. Only in N America, where the word ‘arse’ has been miss-pronounced since the mid-19th century, is the word ‘ass’ considered vulgar. Such ignorance having entered the language should not be a source of shame of the Word; especially the KJV!

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